Do you have a secret relationship with Jesus? How do you cope with pain, live out your desires, and protect yourself from being hurt?
In Speaking Her Secrets: A Single Woman’s Journey to Discover Her Faith, Part One of the Single Christian Women Speak Podcast, Sonja, a single mother of three who has never experienced marriage, shares her journey and opens her heart.
In secret, childhood trauma and the fear of hell drove her to grasp onto Jesus at 6 years old.
Years later, in her 30s, she confessed she was ignoring God. What happened in between?
Coping Mechanisms that We Create
Taking a chance on love carries the risk of heartbreak. For some, this experience develops a fear that leads to creating coping mechanisms to protect against potential pain. Listen to Sonja share, “I didn’t want to get close to anyone because I didn’t want to get hurt.” And where this defense strategy drove her.
Hear how she found a place where she “felt more accepted there than in the church.” This is where she began exploring her independence and the power of being a woman, explaining her curiosity by sharing, “I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to try.”
Feeling Stuck Because of Intimacy
Most women never talk about their first time, but Sonja did. She explained that she shared this private story "hoping that maybe girls can learn from that."
Single women who skate through life and dream of education but find themselves working just to make money will connect to Sonja's story.
She also talks about how things changed when she discovered the bar scene through her love of dance. Sonja is courageous throughout this interview. She holds little back because her story will resonate with many single women who have discovered what Sonja describes as “a warped sense of love and acceptance", and who struggle to balance expectations with the void in their hearts and their faith, although one should outweigh the others.
Single women who struggle with "craving affection," as Sonja did, will find hope in her bravery as she shares.
Do you hear these topics discussed in church?
We talk about reality in the lives of many single women and single mothers that aren’t easily discussed within the church. Many single women don’t have someone in their lives to speak frankly about dating challenges, the desire to be married, money, tithing, sex outside of marriage and why women do it, cohabitation, and the circle of fear that tells us we are stuck and must wallow in our sin.
This is not your everyday conversation, and when I asked Sonja about her relationship with Christ during one point of her journey, she honestly confessed, “I knew right from wrong. I was doing my own thing.” She elaborated, “He was always back there, in my head, but I ignored Him.” Then, she returned to church, but like many single moms, not for herself.
Hope for the Single Parent on Her Journey to Discover Her Faith
Why did Sonja go back to church? How did she tempt God with her finances as a single mom? Join the conversation as she shares powerful stories about both these topics, including how she sacrificed the family dynamics her lifestyle created because deep down, she desired to be obedient to God and to cease the “living together” lifestyle. She explains how she gained strength in her faith by facing her fear of "striking out on my own" while admitting, "Being a single parent is hard."
Secrets Revealed in A Single Woman’s Journey to Discover Her Faith
Is there someone hiding in the depths of our secrets? Join us for Part 2 when Sonja tells us who it is and encourages us to speak as she releases her final secret and makes a bold, life-changing confession that brought transformation in her 40s on her journey to discover her faith.
You can listen here. And on Amazon Music, Spotify, and iTunes.
Additional Resources for single women, single mothers, and fathers who resonate with Sonja's story and who are looking for support may find some of these resources beneficial. As always, you are encouraged to do your own research and find the resources that are suitable for you.
Pregnancy Decision Hotline: 866-804-8482
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