Single Parenting - Told from the Child's Perspective - Part 1
- tracielobstein
- Feb 15
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 18
Parents often think children don’t hear or grasp what is happening inside their childhood homes. Debbie’s story reveals that they often do.
Children's memories develop early in life and play a significant role in shaping their adulthood. As you listen to Debbie’s story, listen to her describe what she saw and heard without being directly told.
This was her parents' breakup, and it is her story. It begins as a 4-year-old when she is told, “We have to move, and you are going to have to leave all your toys behind.” Many children have heard similar unsettling statements, and like Debbie, this is when the lifestyle of living in a single-parent home began.
Debbie opens up about witnessing spousal abuse at 3 and 4 years of age and how it instilled fear and mistrust in men and still affects her today at the age of 70.
Although single-parenting is quite common today, Debbie shares how she was often the only child in her class who didn’t have two parents. It was about 1963, and “people didn’t know what to do with children who didn’t have two parents.” She experienced the isolation of being taunted when classmates responded from their own perspectives.
Debbie’s childhood memories can be enlightening to single-parent families today. She explains how she became a surrogate parent doing adult chores, grocery shopping, and balancing the monthly budget at 7 – 8 years of age. This was partly because, during the ’60s, a single mother didn’t get resources, so her mother faced financial obstacles by working 2 and 3 jobs at a time while Debbie tended to the home and a younger sibling.
Debbie grew up fast and shares a story many women will relate to when she explains, “Because as you grow into your teens, you become so self-reliant that you won’t let anyone help you. Because if you do, that shows that you are weak.”
She compares her experience in the ’60s with today's society and explains, “Today, the government has become more involved in people’s lives.” Then, she elaborates on situations that make it even harder for single parents today.
Single parenting is difficult, and Debbie knows it is handled in a variety of ways. Her child’s perspective carries into adulthood and gives her a strong insight: “I can tell, when I have talked with single parents, which ones are super involved in their children’s lives, and I can tell the ones that are so harried and so burdened by just trying to survive that their children are some kind of afterthought. " She continues, “And, of course, the shuffling back and forth.” And “the money crunch.”
Single Parenting from a Child's Perspective Part one is a conversation many today will relate to. Debbie reflects, “There is a reason why God put two people in charge of a child.” She shares the obstacles and effects of single parenting from the child's perspective with hope and encouragement.
Please tune in for Part 2, where the conversation develops into the topic of grief and single parenting due to widowhood.
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